Since the commencement of the school year, have you noticed that your five or six years old has acquired a new type of attitude? I know I did. It took about five months for me to recognize that she was undergoing something traumatic at school. I could not fathom why she kept speaking back to me when I would ask her to put away her play make-up kit. The fact that she grew belligerent towards her siblings appalled me. I kept querying what was on this girl’s mind and what has transformed her. She needed to get something off her chest. Her afflictions needed to be shared and once her struggles of being physically bullied were shared with me, she progressively lost her temper. My brilliant daughters’ problematic attitude began to be maintained as she was able to receive counseling on how to control hurt and emotional distress. Counseling could serve the way a child process and positively handles their emotions as an adult, whether a child is the bully or receiving the harassment.
The case of bullying or harassment is, unfortunately, a well-known issue that every school goes through. Since the 1970s, research have been conducted to determine the benefits of involvement of counseling for students by The Norwegian researcher Olweus. In a scholarly publication article “Developing a Cognitive Behavioral Intervention Program to Reduce Bully Tendencies in Primary School Children and the Program Effectiveness”, Fusun Gokkaya and Serap Tekinsav Sutcu interpret bullying as a distinct person or crowd producing agony on another student negatively. (Fusun and Sutcu, 2018) Victims of relentless bullying can influence a student to be scared about attending school.
During the five months, my frightened child implored me not to attend school and would dispute about getting dressed every morning. A student may undergo sadness and possess low self-esteem issues due to cruelness. Some students lose confidence in everyone especially if the harasser is menacing. Since my primary time being bullied was in sixth grade, I appraised that was the average time frame bullying starts.
After learning my six years old lady had been bullied since she started kindergarten, I looked more into the subject. What exactly did my Lana’s experience being the victim? She experienced mental and physical abuse from a fellow student. A student she assured me was her buddy, who caused me to believe that she was getting along with others.
My daughter is a bashful, caring and compassionate person. She’s also quite skilled at math and I’ve seen her easily make friends who request to have playdates. I never once thought someone would want to injure her the way she was harm. Around November 2019, my daughter mentioned to me that her friend kept clasping her arm too hard and that it hurt. I discoursed to her classroom teacher that she sees every school day and mentioned that the girl might be a little rough on grasping Lana’s arm, and the teacher appeared shocked. She said she will keep an eye out to make sure she isn’t too rough.
Lana and I seemed comforted that her “friend” would be more delicate from now on. Three months later, However, she struggled with controlling her emotions and constantly seemed violent with her more adolescent brother and sister. She even became rebellious when I told her she was not allowed to use scissors to clip her hair. The day she did that I noticed she had some new unusual bangs, and knew she disobeyed me again. I move the new set of unsymmetrical bangs around her forehead noticing an open wound and discoloration on her skin. “Baby girl! what happened to your head?”, I worriedly asked. Sometimes Lana forgets that I know her well and when she does not establish eye contact and twirls her hair, I know she’s giving me false information. I requested her to look me in the eyes this time and repeat the question assuring her that I am her mother and her best friend. She finally gave me eye connection and said “okay…”. Lana continued, “On our way to school, the same girl pushed my head against the window a little hard.” A little hard? I thought sneeringly. While I understood why the teacher who was driving likely had her attention towards the road, I could not help but question why she did not notice the mark on my daughters’ head. I asked where the teachers during these moments were. She explained that the teachers seldom pay attention and on top of that her tormentor also threatens to harm her more if she does tell the teachers and parents. I asked some more questions about the girl because I want to know every aspect before I bring this up to the supervisor instead of the teacher. I ask how long this has been going on and the response was since school started. My heart utterly shattered at the fact that my angel has been dealing with such trauma and presumed that she had no one to tell. One ultimate question that I was scared to ask, “What ways has she hurt you?”. Besides the other two occurrences mentioned before, the troubled bully would steal things from my daughter’s backpack, bend her fingers backward, follow her, and constantly call her a variation of names. Unfortunately, my kindergartener isn’t the only one. Statistics show that in sampling and selection procedures confirm that one-two kindergarteners of twelve total experiences exclusion from play and those adults don’t notice (Helgeland and Lund, 2017). I believe the mind of the bully should be intervened with counseling. After my daughter mention all the harsh treatments she had received, I began to wonder what the girl is who was bullying her going through at home. Is this girl going through some sort of abuse at home? I compromise and know I cannot be irate at this girl for the way she had treated my girl. When I spoke to the director, I was told that they would be contacting the parents and assured me that it won’t happen again. If it were to happen again, they would pretty much kick the student out. I believe it doesn’t have to get to that extent if the bully could talk about her emotions to a counselor and receive adequate ways to handle her stress at home instead of taking it out on my daughter and other students. By handling this now it could benefit this girl’s future and help her with social health needed to have a healthy mindset. In 1993, Olweus developed a set of rules to prevent bullying. The first rule proposed is “we will not bully other students”. The second rule is that the teachers will attempt to help students who are victims of bullying and the final rule of Olweus proposal is that teachers must make sure to include students who feel more isolated than others. (Smith, pg. 62) While I’m glad that Olweus understands how crucial it is that victims now it’s not their fault, I feel the young bullies need to be focused on as well to help prevent the victims from being bullied in the first place. Coincidentally, after my six-year-old Lana had told me about all the harassment she had suffered during the prior five months, her attitude had drastically changed towards me and other people. The truth is that I guessed she gained an attitude due to the new adaption of attending kindergarten. Mental health counselors help by providing direction on how to manage emotional circumstances by listening to an individual’s internal perceptions. Variations in her behavior after she had confessed to me what truly occurred to her forehead now has me recognizing that counseling would benefit her emotionally. Containing elements such as oppression could provoke a blast of fury. What if she had kept this all in for another year or so?
Gökkaya, Füsun, and Serap T. Sütcü. “Developing A Cognitive Behavioral Intervention Program to Reduce Bully Tendencies in Primary School Children and the Program Effectiveness.” Egitim Ve Bilim, vol. 43, no. 193, 2018. ProQuest, http:// search.proquest.com.ezproxy.hacc.edu/docview/2015727406?accountid=11302.
Helgeland, Anne, and Ingrid Lund. “Children’s Voices on Bullying in Kindergarten.” Early Childhood Education Journal, vol. 45, no. 1, 2017, pp. 133-141. ProQuest, http:// search.proquest.com.ezproxy.hacc.edu/docview/1855687091?accountid=11302, doi:http:// dx.doi.org.ezproxy.hacc.edu/10.1007/s10643-016-0784-z.
Pepler, Debra J., et al. Bullying in Schools: How Successful Can Interventions Be? Cambridge Univ. Press, 2007.